Thoughts of the night

At night when everything is still and the world falls asleep, I stay awake and just think. Any and all emotions that I may have had during the day come to life and I can process them, and give them the amount of time needed to process them. The hard part comes when there is no one around to share them with. It makes a person feel very lonely. I can write or say anything that comes to my mind, but there is no one on the other side to answer back. At times it seems like even if there is someone there, that my thoughts and feelings are too sacred to me to let anyone in and ruin them. I look back on life now and again and look at where I am today. Many changes have happened, and I'm not sad about that, in fact it has been a very freeing feeling. But am I still living by others standards, or living by mine? Thats the question I ask myself frequently. It seems like I answer the question, and when I feel I am living by someone elses then I'm not happy and I get frustrated with that person. If I'm not living up to my own, everyone around me bothers me because I know what it feels like to be free and to live in doubt is to live in chains. Who has the key to free me and the chains that have held me captive. I have my answer. Now I just need to let that person in. I thought once I came to certain conclusions that everything else in life falls into place, but it seems that when I find the answer, another puzzle is put in front of me, a harder one than the one before it, and I take the answer from the previous puzzle and try to solve it, but the pieces don't always fit and so it seems like everything gets pushed away and pieces come apart and I have to start over. One day I'll be able to rest, to listen to the silence of the night and be at peace with the quiet earth. Today is not that day. But tomorrow is another morning.

Updates and more updates!

It's been almost a year since we last blogged. So what has happened? Well, Rachel has had 2, yes 2 surgeries, she survived them well with some hiccups on the recovery. But she is alive and well enough to enjoy her great life with her husband who is now a brand new paramedic! He never wanted to be in EMS when he started fire fighting so long ago and now just loves it. Rachel did a great job of supporting him through 2,500 + hrs of schooling in 10 months.
We got a new little puppy, Ellie, after the character from Disney's "Up" (we love Disney). She's a little princess who get's spoiled and loved to death. We've been through obedience school together and she trained us well apparently. The only command she struggles with is "come".
Our house is finished and we are moved in, even painted the bedroom. It's great to decorate with hand-me-downs but we're never going to complain cause it makes our home feel cozy.

We actually have a house being built finally! Just took them forever!

So, here's a hot model (on the left) showing our brand new house! Ok, so it's the dirt our house will sit on. But it's great knowing where it'll sit. Notice no roads, they've just barely started on those and we're supposed to be in by the end of July, I guess the downturn in construction has been a good thing, makes the building go faster cause everyone is waiting for a job!

So here's our new Landlord, Grandpa Reed! We've moved in with him while we build our new house. We have the whole basement to ourselves. It's been a great time for me, I have a Harry Potter room! Not kidding, it's a small office under the stairs where I can study. It's been good, my grades improved a lot this last semester. Grandpa loves having us there, he says it's the Triple R' Hotel (Reed, Rachel, and Ray). This was a night out we had, he took us to dinner at the Little America. That's a great place to eat BTW.

Surgery!

So, Rachel had surgery again back in January. It was supposed to be a simple little half hour and then the Doc, (Dr. Arrington, who is a good man that I feel comfortable with letting him have his hands on my wife), came in 3 hours later and told me they found a bunch of bad stuff and got the majority of it out. Anyway here's a great picture of my nursing skills. I did a great job of making sure she stayed warm. - Ray